Resuming While Tired and Crabby = Lots of Room for Grace

On Monday morning I glanced down at my calendar.  I only saw one ominous word scribbled in for Monday: resume.   So we resume.   After being on a big, long holiday and enjoying lazy mornings and lazier evenings, it’s been a tough few days.  The alarms have been set for 5:15 for us, 7:00 for the kids, and none of us have managed to get out of bed before 7:30 yet.  I had high hopes for early morning workouts and meaningful times with the Lord, topped off with a shower and makeup on before 7:00.  

It is 8:00 on Wednesday night.  I am tired.  I am a crab.  I have no makeup on.  In the past three days I have yelled at the kids, been frustrated with a whining Gia and forgotten the one thing I needed when I went to the grocery store.  I did come home with 37 other items that were not nearly as important.   

Yet God is a God of grace.  It is what separates Him completely from every other god, every other religion, every self-help guru on the plant.

In these moments, He whispers to me:

For I will be merciful to your iniquities, and I will remember your sins no more.  Hebrews 8:12

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you...” II Cor. 12:9

For sin shall not be master over me, for I am not under law but under grace.  Romans 6:14 

I have come to know and have believed the love which God has for me.  God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him...I love, because He first loved me.  John 4:16-17

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1 

He does not whack me over the head when I sin.  He is pleased with me, no matter what.  I have peace with Him.   Why?  Because of Jesus.  Jesus, once and for all, took the punishment and guilt for my sins on the cross.  All of them  (Romans 5).  God looks at me and sees me as righteous, because Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin on my behalf and gave me the gift of His righteousness (II Corinthians 5:21).

So in His mercy, He reminds me of these verses, and in these few days of tiredness and frustration, He has given me grace upon grace...to not yell, to make Gia laugh when she whines, to love my husband and my boys.  No, it’s not been pretty all the time, and I have been feeling lots of icky emotions, but the more I meditate upon God’s love for me, His crazy, hard-to-grasp way of extending so much mercy and grace, I realize, my mind flashing to Him in these moments of human-ness, that He is my anchor, my hope, my only source of peace, strength.   I am not a slave to my feelings.   I CAN act in love, through the power of Jesus!  

Thank you, Lord, for showing me more of your grace and your power to influence my actions when I am a tired, snappy girl.  I would say I am immature in these times and hardly a picture of righteousness.  I am really pathetic.  Yet your Word reminds my of my identity in Christ, and You lift me out of the mire.   You are so good.  I claim tonight our favorite nighttime verse:  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make us dwell in safety (Psalm 4).  I look forward to sweet, restoring sleep for all of us tonight.  In Jesus’ name, Amen