Monday, January 30, 2012

I Need More Jesus

Adoption can definitely be a lonely path.  Not so this weekend at Created For Care in Atlanta, where I -- along with over 400 other adoptive moms -- landed for a time of refreshment, encouragement and cheer.  Actually, the thing I liked most, the thing that I found most refreshing, was spending time with my friend Deb.   Coming in a close second was waking up in the morning to silence, slowly stretching myself awake, glancing at the clock and rolling back over.  Beautiful.  Priceless.  They should make one of those credit card commercials about that.

I walked away with one thing: I need more Jesus.

During a session completely anointed by the Holy Spirit, amidst all of these women worshiping our Abba Father, I knew each person in the room was embraced by Grace, drowning in the sea of God's love, in awe as we watched the screen flash pictures of family after family.   Diverse families from all over, all testimonies of how God brings beauty out of the ashes of our world and ourselves.  I was really in a state of awe.  This was refreshment for my soul.  This was shouting out the character of God...which I sometimes question.  His compassion, mercy and grace and kindness, the things that make up His perfect character, were ALL OVER those pictures, filling my heart with JOY.

The speakers were real and transparent people, dealing with the often hard realities of adoption and speaking practical wisdom.  They told us about their trials, mistakes.  In short, it wasn't pretty.  Yet it was beautiful.   Overall, it was about this:

Abide in Jesus and let Him do the rest.  Do what HE wants you to do, not what YOU want to do or the adoption community wants you to do or your feelings want you to do.  Be under His discretion.   Do not forge ahead without Him.  The speaker was talking to a room full of doers, risk-takers...and controllers.  Sometimes we don't need to do anything but pray....wait...sit at the feet of play kitchen with our little girls.

More Jesus, less me.   

Monday, January 16, 2012


God's love.  He pulled me away from my plans yesterday and tugged me down a path of worship.  Carving out unexpected time, He sat me down, put some Band-aids on my heart and led me into love.

As I delve deeper into experiencing the love of God, I read with a heart wide open, ready to drink it all up.  Today I am thankful for the wonderful writings of Brennan Manning and the beautiful voice of Kim Walker and Katie and Ann Voskamp....people who know and practically experience the love of Christ and freely share the grit and glory of life with a gazillion people around the world.  I, for one, am spurred on to fall in love with Jesus.  What does Jesus think about me, anyway?

Matthew 10:29-31...i am important, He notices me, He knows the very number of hairs on my head!, fear not

32...He acknowledges me before my Father in heaven, because we are in a state of oneness, abiding with one another

Ephesians 1:2... I live in grace( God's unmerited favor ) and spiritual peace (peace with God and harmony, unity and undisturbedness) through Jesus

4...He actually picked me out for Himself as His own in Christ before the foundation of the world, that I should be holy and blameless in His sight, even beyond reproach!, before Him  in love.

5...He planned in love for me to be adopted as His own child through Jesus!  Why?  Because it 
pleased Him and was His kind intent!!!

6...He freely bestows grace on me in the Beloved...because He loves me

7....I have redemption through His blood, have been forgiven of my offenses, shortcomings and trespasses, in accordance with the riches and generosity of His gracious favor which He lavishes upon

13...I have been stamped with the seal of the Holy Spirit

All of Ephesians 2 shouts of LOVE.  He made me alive when I was dead in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us.  He is my peace.

12  In Jesus I dare to have the boldness, courage and confidence of free access to God, the unreserved approach to God with freedom and without fear.  (Manning calls it the best way.)

3:17  He desires that I be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that I may have the power and be strong enough to grasp the experience of that kind of love, the breadth and length and height and depth of it. 

All of this says that He delights in me.  He loves me.  He thinks I am really great because I am God's own handiwork (Ps 149 and Eph. 2:10), recreated in Christ Jesus.  He has a plan for me to walk down paths which He prepared ahead of time.  As a mom, I know I have good plans for my kids, plans for good, not for evil.  How much more does my perfect heavenly Abba plan good things for me and all believers, and then He actually prepares those paths and goes before us to make them ready, make us ready for what lies ahead.  That is LOVE.

Thank you, Jesus, for the merest glimpse of your heart this morning.  Thank you, Abba, for love.

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