Boys, Love, Africa, Her
Adoption is an interesting process. It's so unlike deciding to have a biological child. We did that like this: "Let's get married and wait 5.1 years to have a baby. You know, so we can bond." 5.1 years go by. "Let's get pregnant now and again really quickly after the first and then..." I don't even think we prayed about it. It was really pretty shallow. Although we "planned" our first two children, I realize now that it had nothing to do with us and everything to do with God's plan. His infinite grace filled our arms and hearts with two precious babies, the most incredible gifts from Him. He tenderly showed us all about love... in the middle of the night, bleary-eyed and desperate for sleep...in the e.r., praying that our sons would be okay...in the stillness of the dark, as we watched them sleep...in the angry, frustrating moments when we blew it. God loved on us so much. He taught us about Himself in all of these moments. Most of all He taught us how much He loves us...so deep, so beyond anything we can feel for our own children.
Now His plan for our next children is different and not nearly so neat and tidy. (I am certain we were not ready for anything but neat and tidy 12 years ago!) When researching adoption, I remember clicking on so many websites. I am a researcher. Nothing thrills me more than delving headlong into a subject so that I can eventually come up for air and feel somewhat educated about something. Well, with adoption it just gets more confusing. It makes you feel really overwhelmed and inadequate. Too many decisions, too many limitations, so many orphans. Trusting in the Lord with all of your heart suddenly sounds like a really good plan. But this sweet child has been bathed in prayer from the beginning, and God led us to Africa. He's finding her for us, us for her.
As God has softened my heart towards Africa, He has revealed a people who are so beautiful to me. I remember reading "There is No Me Without You." I was touched and inspired. Every week when I go to sewing class, I am uplifted by the smiles of African women. It's my weekly blessing to be around them! It's my little peek into African women, their culture, their language, their joy.
Little did I know at first that our little one would be from Africa. As I look back now, I see that He was guiding us there all along, even when we didn't see it at first. He redirected us, and now He has chosen a little girl halfway across the world to be our daughter. I ran into this blog today from Sasha's blog. She drew me in quickly to her life in Uganda, and I can hardly read her stories without weeping. Her post of October 23, 2007 is good. It reflects what I've but just glimpsed as God has opened my eyes to this country. Yes, we are blessed in the U.S. But we are impoverished in so many ways.
I feel nothing but honored to call Africa my daughter's birthplace, the country she now calls home.
Now His plan for our next children is different and not nearly so neat and tidy. (I am certain we were not ready for anything but neat and tidy 12 years ago!) When researching adoption, I remember clicking on so many websites. I am a researcher. Nothing thrills me more than delving headlong into a subject so that I can eventually come up for air and feel somewhat educated about something. Well, with adoption it just gets more confusing. It makes you feel really overwhelmed and inadequate. Too many decisions, too many limitations, so many orphans. Trusting in the Lord with all of your heart suddenly sounds like a really good plan. But this sweet child has been bathed in prayer from the beginning, and God led us to Africa. He's finding her for us, us for her.
As God has softened my heart towards Africa, He has revealed a people who are so beautiful to me. I remember reading "There is No Me Without You." I was touched and inspired. Every week when I go to sewing class, I am uplifted by the smiles of African women. It's my weekly blessing to be around them! It's my little peek into African women, their culture, their language, their joy.
Little did I know at first that our little one would be from Africa. As I look back now, I see that He was guiding us there all along, even when we didn't see it at first. He redirected us, and now He has chosen a little girl halfway across the world to be our daughter. I ran into this blog today from Sasha's blog. She drew me in quickly to her life in Uganda, and I can hardly read her stories without weeping. Her post of October 23, 2007 is good. It reflects what I've but just glimpsed as God has opened my eyes to this country. Yes, we are blessed in the U.S. But we are impoverished in so many ways.
I feel nothing but honored to call Africa my daughter's birthplace, the country she now calls home.
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