A Tough, but Redeemed, Day
This morning was rough. I kissed William goodbye at 4:45 a.m. (He's in Canada today.) I jumped out of bed at 5:15, full of the promise of a new day. At 6:00 I sat down with the Lord. We had a great time. I prayed, read, felt fairly warm and fuzzy at the end. And then it was time to wake the kids up. I vowed to treat them with total kindness and love, no matter what. I rubbed Ethan's back, gently roused them with a soft, cheery "good morning!". Within five minutes, I was gritting my teeth and forcing a smile. "Please get up. Now." Okay, deep breath. Lord I can do this. "Okay, boys. You need to get up." Christian rolled out of bed, but within another two minutes he was downstairs writing three sentences out of "7 Habits for Highly Effective Teens" (Yes, I realize he's only 8). This is the current method of punishment for disobedience. I was feeling fairly good. He had disobeyed when I had asked him to try on a pair of pants for me, and I had calmly meted out a consequence.
Ethan came downstairs a few minutes later. I'm not exactly sure how it all went down, but before long we were drowning in a heart-wrenching verbal war of words. Everything I said, he misunderstood. Everything he said, I had a comeback. Before long, tears were flowing and my 10-year-old told me his heart was broken. He didn't feel he had a mom anymore. And then he asked for a hug. It was one of those awful times when you can't say a thing to make things better. I realized my child needed actions, not words. I hugged him. I told him I loved him. On the way to school, I prayed for Jesus to help us.
After dropping a tear-stained Ethan off at school, my heart broke. It broke for all the wrong things I said. It broke for the raw emotions Ethan expressed. I could only pour out my heart before the Lord. I prayed blessings upon Ethan. I prayed for restoration. I prayed for mercy. I prayed for victory. I thanked God that today was a good day, a day of victory, a day of joy, because I know that His power is perfected in my weakness. Ethan said later that God answered our prayers because he did have a good day, a day of joy. He greeted me with a smile when I picked him up. I told him I was sorry about the morning. He smiled a sweet smile and said, "Me too." I started to say something else, but he stopped me with a "Mom, do we have to?" I said that, no, we didn't have to go there.
Ethan and I are choosing to pursue peace. We are choosing to believe truth. I saw God work today on my heart, on Ethan's heart. He is on our side. According to Ephesians, we are rooted in love, established on love. Today I felt nothing but love after the storm -- His love for my son, His love for me.
Ethan came downstairs a few minutes later. I'm not exactly sure how it all went down, but before long we were drowning in a heart-wrenching verbal war of words. Everything I said, he misunderstood. Everything he said, I had a comeback. Before long, tears were flowing and my 10-year-old told me his heart was broken. He didn't feel he had a mom anymore. And then he asked for a hug. It was one of those awful times when you can't say a thing to make things better. I realized my child needed actions, not words. I hugged him. I told him I loved him. On the way to school, I prayed for Jesus to help us.
After dropping a tear-stained Ethan off at school, my heart broke. It broke for all the wrong things I said. It broke for the raw emotions Ethan expressed. I could only pour out my heart before the Lord. I prayed blessings upon Ethan. I prayed for restoration. I prayed for mercy. I prayed for victory. I thanked God that today was a good day, a day of victory, a day of joy, because I know that His power is perfected in my weakness. Ethan said later that God answered our prayers because he did have a good day, a day of joy. He greeted me with a smile when I picked him up. I told him I was sorry about the morning. He smiled a sweet smile and said, "Me too." I started to say something else, but he stopped me with a "Mom, do we have to?" I said that, no, we didn't have to go there.
Ethan and I are choosing to pursue peace. We are choosing to believe truth. I saw God work today on my heart, on Ethan's heart. He is on our side. According to Ephesians, we are rooted in love, established on love. Today I felt nothing but love after the storm -- His love for my son, His love for me.
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tells us we are a noisy gong, a canging synbol, useless, nothing,we are neither profited or benefited without Love--that which emanates from Him, from His heart.
He reminds me each day as I read these particular verses that I am also a very empty vessel without Love Himself having His way within my most inner being. Our human efforts and even our "own" love are without power if not rooted and motivated by His Love working that which is pleasing in His sight. In Heb 13:21 he speaks of the blood of the eternal covenant, which is now the New covenant,through which He equips us and He works in us that which is "pleasing in His sight". Note that He says "that which"...meaning that what becomes pleasing is the work He accomplishes in us....not referring to us ourselves. Because we are already pleasing to Him through the blood of the Lamb!
Keep on keeping on my precious daughter! You are seeking Him who has the perfect answers for each moment of your day! He loves you, you are precious to Him, you are favored by Him, you are blessed by Him, you are royalty, your are a daughter of the Most High God, you are His valued vessel that He will conti!nue to fill as you continue to yield your heart to Him.
I love you!
mom