A Promise

We received a gift yesterday, a DVD of our sweet baby girl.  She’s in her crib with another sweet one, blinking away a pesky fly.  The nanny calls her name.  She smiles a fleeting smile.  I try to freeze the frame so I can linger on that smile, but the film is grainy, the lighting dim.  I’m left with that brief moment, willing the camera to show me more.  But it moves on.

Sunday was Cindy’s baby shower.  It was beautiful to see her surrounded by friends and all those sweet baby things, the anticipation of the coming baby vibrant in the air.  I won the prize for the mom with the youngest baby.  Someone else spoke my name when we were all asked,Who has the youngest baby?  I stumbled, I DO have the youngest baby!  So now I have a jeweled heart keychain as a symbol of this verse the Lord gave to me this week:

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!    Luke 1:45

My lack of belief shows up in strange ways.  Someone else answered that question.  It should have been a confident, exuberant me.   As some drama swirls around our adoption agency this week, again I am challenged to choose faith over circumstances.   Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.  God has moved mountains so far in this sweet baby’s life, entwining her life with ours.  He will continue to do so.  NO MATTER WHAT.  And to calm my beating heart, as my Aunt Trisha said yesterday, His grace abounds and covers all.   Just what Jesus has been trying to tell me, even in parking lots:

Abba Father, You love me...even when I falter in belief.  Thank you for your Holy Spirit, who guides me into all truth and builds, one block at a time, my foundation of faith in You, You alone.   You are Faithful and True.  I am blessed because I believe that what You have said to me will be accomplished.  You have ordained this adoption from the start, the imprint of Your mighty hand ALL OVER this process.  I praise You, Lord, for you are good.