His Pure and Undefiled Wisdom

Rivalry: opposition, antagonism; jealousy.

The synonyms listed in the dictionary are kind of surprising. Jealousy? Antagonism? In our culture a "good old-fashioned rivalry" is thought to be a good thing...until we lose. And then the mask comes off, the selfish ambition and jealousy revealed, and all those pleasant thoughts about how healthy competition is a good thing, a character-building thing...well, it all rings a little hollow.

13Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom.

14But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.

15This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal).

16For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.

17But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).

18And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts]

James 3:13-18 [Amplified]

The truth is, I'm a more competitive person than I once thought, and not in a good way. I want all of us to be “better.” These rivalries, even if they’re only in my mind, bring about unrest and disharmony in my thoughts. I have often wished that my kids were more athletic than they are, smarter, more well-behaved, like so-and-so's kids. These are mostly passing thoughts, not ones I dwell upon, but ones that are "false to the Truth."

Thankfully, as the Lord sanctifies me and makes me more like Himself, as He teaches me to have His wisdom, my thoughts will turn from thoughts of rivalry and “being better” to thoughts of harmony, "in a peaceful mind free from fears." Fear drives me to think irrationally about the successes and failures of myself, my husband, and my kids, whacking them wayyyy out of perspective. This is why God tells us to gird our loins with truth. The truth is, His perspective is that my kids are perfect just the way they are. And I love every inch of who they are. I am glad they are not like so-and-so's kids, because then they wouldn't be how God wired them to be.

As the Lord continues to strip away these false thoughts, He is now probing me about how rivalry affects my thoughts on adoption. He has made it our heart's desire to be a mom and dad to a child who needs a mom and dad. It’s that simple. No strings attached.

18"He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing.

19"So show your love for the alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.

20"You shall fear the LORD your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name.

21"He is your praise and He is your God, who has done these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen.

Deuteronomy 10:18-21

He has dealt with me in His very wise and loving way. I was once alienated from my God, and when I was unlovely He died for me. Now I am beloved and adopted, an heir. I now call him My Father, who has done these great and awesome things for me which my eyes have seen. He tells me to show my love for the alien, because I too once was one.

So when I think of this little one we are called to love, should I worry and fret about the what-ifs? What if.....something's wrong with her.....she loves dolls (ick).....he would rather play music than play sports....she cries all night (I realllly love my sleep)....other people think she's less than beautiful....other people are prejudice against her dark skin....he has a hard time making friends....and on and on.

The Lord is showing me that many of these thoughts stem from my human wisdom, which he says is earthly, unspiritual and even develish. Wow.

HIS wisdom is pure, pure as a sparkling, clean river flowing with thirst-quenching water. He didn't have a speck of "what-if" thoughts about me. He looked at me and saw glorious possibility, a creation made in His image, chosen and beautiful. I know that when I lay eyes on our precious little one, my thoughts will be His thoughts. He is showing me what it is like to have wisdom from above, pure and unfeigned. He washes away the what-ifs and shows me His heart and teaches me how to have His heart of compassion, undefiled and pure.

As He works all this out, I am grateful for His Word. I am grateful for this journey. Again, Lord, I trust you. Not only with my own gifted, chosen, beautiful boys, but with the little one to come, who is also gifted, chosen and beautiful. Thank you for changing my perspective towards the orphans and the aliens. You love them in a thousand different ways, in pure and selfless ways. You want me to love them like that too.